


i want to wake up and have no regrets

by faintlight



Series: look me in the eyes [2]
Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Discussion of feelings, Do Not Archive (The Magnus Archives), F/F, Lesbians, Morning Sex, Oral Sex, Sexy Use of Beholding Powers, Trans Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Trans Martin Blackwood, Vaginal Sex, again neither are really in the way you expect, trans author
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:42:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28246359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faintlight/pseuds/faintlight
Summary: Martin wakes up in Jon's bed and can't quite believe his eyes.[spoilers up until s3]
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Series: look me in the eyes [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2069037
Comments: 21
Kudos: 43





	i want to wake up and have no regrets

**Author's Note:**

> follow up to my first lesbian jonmartin fic, this time with even more feelings because i care about these gay idiots so much
> 
> thank you all for the sweet comments on my first one! i didn't think this specific gender would resonate with so many people
> 
> again, Jon uses they/them Martin uses he/they, they're both lesbians!
> 
> title of the fic and series from carly rae jepsen's "look me in the eyes"

When Martin woke up, it took him a second to realize where he was. Confusion jolted through him as he took in the unfamiliar white ceiling, the dark blue sheets, and-

Oh. _Oh._

Because this was Jon’s room, Jon’s flat, and Jon themself lay curled up in Martin’s arms in a position that looked extremely uncomfortable. Martin let out a little sigh of surprise mixed with contentment. It almost didn’t feel real, holding Jon, holding the love of his life- _no_ , he stopped himself, _someone he loved_ , he didn’t want to put that on someone so quickly, but god, if he wasn’t on the verge of feeling it. He was ready to give anything and everything to Jon, spend his life with them, but that would surely scare them. 

Jon stirred in his arms, making his heart tug with affection. Their eyes slowly blinked open, first taking in the ceiling, then the distortion of sheets around their legs, slowly drifting up to Martin’s face. Their cheeks reddened, and a smile drifted onto their face, seemingly without intending to. Martin returned the gaze, so lovesick that he could barely contain it. Their lips drifted together, a gasp escaping from Martin’s lips before he could stop it. His arms tightened around Jon, hands drifting to their waist. Jon turned to face him. Their hands slipped to Martin’s cheeks, pulling him in for another kiss. Martin realized that Jon was, in fact, still wearing the same shirt from the day before, as though they had simply passed out in the bed as soon as they’d gotten to Jon’s flat. 

Martin’s head felt fuzzy when he tried to think about it. The faint edges of memory he was able to catch felt like they’d happened to someone else. He felt the soft bruises on his neck as Jon’s hands moved to rest on his shoulders. Jon’s thumb drifted to the center of Martin’s throat, pressing faintly on the bruised skin.

Martin pulled the lowest button on Jon’s shirt out of its hole. 

Jon’s fingers tightened on his neck. He gasped, slipping the next button undone. Jon’s other hands stroked his cheek, face still tender. Martin undid their buttons faster now as Jon pressed their mouth to his neck, teeth scraping the already-tender spot. 

The last button on Jon’s shirt came undone, Martin slipping it around Jon’s shoulders. He opened his eyes, gazing at Jon as if he’d never seen them before. They were vulnerable, open, and direct about what they loved, what they wanted. Anything that Martin needed, he felt like Jon would go any length to do. It was almost too much to handle. 

Almost. Martin pulled himself on top of Jon, knees bracketing their hips. Jon let out a pleased noise, hands reaching for Martin’s thighs. Martin bent to kiss them, hands exploring everywhere they could. “All of this still okay?” he whispered, breaking the silence to make absolutely sure. 

Jon made a sound that sounded almost _desperate._ “Yes, god, _Martin-_ ” cutting off with a stifled moan as Martin rolled a thumb over their nipple, mouth fixing on their other breast, biting softly. Jon gasped, knee pulling forward to rest against Martin. Without thinking about what he was doing, Martin rolled his hips against it and pressed his knee forward into Jon. They bit back a choked sound, and the two of them stretched that moment into what could have been minutes or hours, grinding against each other with too little friction to find release, but enough to fill their bodies with the elation of moving on instinct rather than thought. 

Finally, Martin couldn’t take it anymore. He slipped his thumb into the waistband of Jon’s underwear, heated beneath his touch. Martin shuddered. He couldn’t remember the last time Jon had been so warm, so _human_. Jon reached down to help Martin slide off their underwear, hands brushing. Martin wasted no time, taking Jon in one hand while he bent to kiss the slight curve of Jon’s breast. Jon’s hips rocked against his hand as his thumb stroked the head of their cock, palm feeling every curve and vein. Jon was gasping now, their mouth falling open just enough to allow sound to spill out. Martin wanted to collect those sounds and store them forever in his mind, bottle the memory and drink it when he couldn't believe this was real. He paused for a moment to pull his own underwear down, boxers falling to his knees with an obvious wet spot between his legs. Jon’s hand reached out to slip into Martin’s folds, slim fingers sliding easily between his labia. Martin let out a cry of his own as he went back to stroking Jon. he looked into their eyes questioningly, and Jon seemed to pull the answer from his mind. They reached a hand into the drawer of their nightstand and retrieved a condom. Like they had the night before, Jon slid on the condom in one smooth motion. Martin lifted his hips, positioning himself to sink into Jon’s lap. 

Jon, it seemed, had other plans. With a strength that fell _just_ outside the parameters of what should have been possible, they lifted Martin by the hips and pressed him beneath them, elbows bracketing shoulders, Jon’s legs between Martin’s own. Their sudden proximity drew a surprised breath from Martin. Jon bent to kiss him, fingers circling Martin’s entrance before dipping inside gently. They worked Martin open in a matter of minutes, drawing sound after sound out of him. They left marks in different places than before, mouth exploring Martin’s chest as their fingers picked up speed. When they added a third finger, Martin knew he couldn’t wait any longer. 

“Christ, Jon, _please_ ,” he gasped, words breaking in his mouth as Jon’s thumb brushed over his clit. Their hand slowed and pulled out with a slick sound. In one motion, Martin opened his lips as Jon brought their fingers up to his mouth. He nearly moaned at the taste of himself on Jon’s long, slender fingers, sound escaping as said fingers pulled his jaw open slightly. 

Jon’s voice, warm and rough and so close, wove its way into Martin’ ears. “Do you want me to fuck you, Martin?” 

The air seemed to shake with energy. Martin sighed as Jon’s fingers slipped from his mouth to enable him to speak. “God, yes, more than anything. I want to feel you inside of me.” 

As Martin pulled Jon’s face toward his own, Jon slipped the head of their dick into Martin. Their lips met, sparking every nerve in Martin’s lips and sending a shock of heat through his body. Jon pressed further into him, hips flush to Martin’s own. Martin moaned into Jon’s mouth, feeling their warm breath against his face as they began to move, pulling back slowly before snapping forward to set a steady pace. Each thrust drew a sharp gasp from Martin as he kissed Jon’s face. Their eyes were half-closed, but unwaveringly intense. Martin knew they were looking at him, _watching_ him, taking in every second of this and committing it to memory. He didn’t know how much of that Jon was controlling and how much was the Eye, or if there was even a difference anymore, but at that moment, he didn’t really care. If the Eye was feeding on his flushed face and needy moans, well, that didn’t detract from the feeling of Jon clutching him as their hips moved ever faster. (If Martin was honest, he enjoyed the idea of being watched by some supernatural power far more than he was prepared to admit.)

Martin’s breath came higher and faster, feelings too overwhelming to make any other noise. He knew he was far too overstimulated to last much longer, especially when Jon’s hand returned to his clit. 

“Jon- I- _fuck_ \- I’m going to-”

Jon bent closer to Martin, resting their head in the crook of his neck. Lips pressed to what surely was a growing bruise, they whispered, “come for me, Martin.”

Martin could barely feel the compulsion leaking into his ears as the crest of an orgasm rolled through his body. He clenched around Jon, feeling their pace stutter as he let out a cry. Above him, Jon moaned into his ear as a warmth flooded inside of him. He clutched at Jon as they rode out their respective orgasms, sparks lighting behind his eyes and a shiver running through him. 

They were both still for a moment, Jon catching their breath and loosening their grip on Martin. They slid out of Martin and came to settle between his hips, condom neatly disposed of. Before Martin could ask what they were doing, Jon gently spread Martin’s legs apart and bowed their head. Martin immediately tipped his head back, already gasping for air as Jon worked over his still-sensitive clit. As Jon continued to do unspeakable things between Martin’s legs, the reality that _Jon was eating him_ out hit him again. He couldn’t say whether it was the stimulation, his overwhelming feelings, or some extremely homosexual combination of both, but his eyes began to water. Martin’s head was still fuzzy and his body warm, and it didn’t take long for him to come again, hands clutching at Jon’s head. Tears rolled lightly down his cheeks, but he was too caught up in the feeling to care.

As he caught his breath, Jon wiped their face and sat up to join Martin. “Good morning,” Martin said, his voice still a little shaky. 

“Good morning,” Jon replied, smile leaking into their voice. Their hand cupped Martin’s cheek, wiping the tears from his face, and pulled him in for a kiss. “I’m glad you’re still here.”

“What, did you think I would leave?” Martin laughed. He hadn’t considered that Jon might be as nervous about this as he was. 

“I don’t know, I just-” Jon shook their head. “It’s hard to be sure that anyone will be here when I wake up.”

Martin’s face softened. “Oh,” he breathed, “Jon, I’ll be here as long as you’ll have me.” 

“I’ll have you as long as you’ll put up with me,” Jon said, without hesitating. “I can’t promise it won’t be hard.” 

Martin laughed again. “Jon, we’ve almost been eaten by worms together, been chased by our dead coworker, had you accused of murder, gotten lost in the _secret tunnels under our offices_ , and I don’t even know how much more. It’s been hard for a while.” 

Jon smiled at him. “That’s a fair point. The thing is, I’m not sure I’m entirely... _human_ anymore.”

“I think you’re human in all the ways that matter.” 

And for the first time in all their years of knowing each other, Martin saw Jon cry. Before he could even finish the thought, he’d wrapped his arms around Jon. “It’s okay, Jon, it’s okay,” Martin whispered, pulling them close against his chest. They stayed like that for a moment until Jon pulled back to look Martin in the eyes. 

They hiccuped gently. “I didn’t even know I could still cry,” they said, voice raspy with tears. 

Martin gently kissed a tear on their cheek. “Maybe you’re more human than you think.” He leaned his forehead against Jon’s. 

The two of them laid there for a while, foreheads pressed together, listening to each other breathe. Martin felt his heart filling with a raw, intense warmth, radiating out from the core of his being and spreading into his limbs. It was love, pure and genuine, for the person who was here in his arms, and Martin could barely breathe. 

Jon broke the comfortable silence first. “So what are we going to do about work?”

Martin’s heart jumped at the sound of _we_. “I don’t know. It’s not like normal office rules really apply for us, but I’m not sure if we should tell the others. I mean, everyone already knew I was in love with you, so clearly I’m not great at hiding my feelings.” He laughed softly. 

“I don’t mind people knowing, I just- I’d rather not, you know, talk about my romantic life with _Elias_.” 

Martin laughed. “He seems to know everything anyway. I’d be surprised if he couldn’t tell with one look at us. Not that I love that idea, but it seems kind of inevitable that people will find out.” 

Jon nodded. “Not a secret, but not announcing it either.” 

“I agree, I’d really prefer not to have Tim press me for details.” 

They went on like that for a while, imagining their various coworkers’ responses to their relationship. Martin didn’t think he’d ever seen Jon smile so much at once, and despite everything, he couldn’t help looking forward to going to work the next day.

**Author's Note:**

> i got approved for top surgery while i was writing this fic which i just think is funny. thanks for reading!


End file.
